I'm over the moon to hear that B is finally pregnant again. Please stop by and give her a hug so she knows she has some support during what will be a very scary 9 months.
I forgot to light a candle for Aiden. I wasn't even home and right now I don't really feel guilty about it. I guess it's because it is a day someone else picked and really has no relation to my life. I suppose I also didn't want to turn our anniversary (the 18th) into another painful day like Christmas and New Years will always be now.
I decided to call a fertility specialist and am kind of pissed at myself that I never looked into this before. I always thought that we would never be able to afford it. I didn't realize that the 10-20K price tag was really only for IVF. Even though I knew about IUIs and knew I probably just need a medicated and monitored cycle, I just never realized that might not be out of our reach. From what I was told we may be able to get a couple of IUIs for under 2K, which is really doable. So maybe I'll put off that breast reduction a little longer.
I'm almost done with my adoption paperwork, but my husband hasn't even started his. I am trying very hard not to get angry. I know he cares and wants to do this, he just doesn't have the insane voice in his head demanding that we do everything NOW!
So - a little bit of hope, I guess. But winter is coming and it has almost been a year. There is something just so sad about that.