Oh, my mother in law.
I wrote this 29 days after giving birth to Aiden. Things have really only gotten worse since then. This week really takes the cake.
Last week I stopped by my MIL's house to get something to surprise my husband with for our anniversary. The previous week she had demanded that we watch her stupid, spoiled dog. The dog managed to destroy our rented house in 2 days. My husband took her back to MIL's house and left her alone (with adequate food and water) for four days. I wasn't sure if the dog was dead or MIL was just pissed that we didn't watch her the whole week, since she hadn't called us, so when I got to her house I was listening for the dog. She normally wears a collar with bells on it and you can hear her coming. I got to the front door and saw that the screen door and front window were open. I didn't check if the door was locked but did hear bells. I assumed the dog was okay and MIL wasn't home. I unlocked the door and went in. I didn't notice until much later that the dog was not wearing her collar. My MIL's back door was wide open and some lights were on. At first I thought she was home and her car was gone - it is a POS and always in the shop. Then I thought she had run to the store and not locked up.
Well - it turns out she was robbed. The bells I heard were the bells on her backdoor. They rang as the robbers ran out the back door, while I was coming in the front.
My MIL called my husband that night and cried and cried about the $700 and jewelry that was stolen. She was apparently unconcerned that I had been lucky not to get hurt. But here is the good part: the woman who didn't call us for 2 months after OUR SON DIED complained to her son that he didn't call and check on her. She actually said, "since you can't call me and check on me." And this phone call came on our anniversary.
Today she called to bitch at my husband that he needs to come over and fix her damn shower, install a wall-mounted safe, and find out what kind of computer she should get.
My husband showed much more restraint than I would have. I'm sure you can imagine what I would say - it starts with an F and ends in you.