Monday, December 6, 2010

finally alone

I have been trying for a very long time (months) to get some alone time. I need quiet and time to write. That is in very short supply around here. The holidays are hard, but not as bad as I feared. I find myself cheering up from where I was a couple of weeks ago. My little girl's enthusiasm is contagious. I find it easier to be happy for her than I thought I would.

I wish I knew what my body was doing. We should come with troubleshooting guides or something. I have finally stopped the constant bleeding, but I don't know what is going on with my cycle (can you really call it that if it is never the same twice?).

My last three bouts of heavy bleeding and horrible cramps were all 2 weeks apart. So that's three periods in 6 weeks. The last one was on November 20th, which would make this CD16. I started cramping this past Thursday and got very sore in the uterus regions. This normally means I'm about to have a period or about to ovulate. However, there hasn't been so much as a dot of blood, no fertile CM (I always get lots) and VERY negative OPK's. Now the soreness is concentrated on one side as if I ovulated and now have a cyst. WTF?!

I have no idea what is going on. I've started combining OPKs and OPTs in the hopes that something will pop up and tell me what's happening in there (Are you listening, uterus? I'll even take a prophetic dream). If it weren't for other factors I would just wait and see, but I can't.

I hurt my knee at work a couple of months ago and the doc wants an MRI. I don't want to get one if I'm 2 days pregnant but if I wait until I'm sure I'm not, it could be the end of January. Unless I just stop having sex and test in two weeks. I'm not willing to do that though, because every time I decide to skip a cycle it is months before I get another chance. The knee needs to get treated as soon as possible because I will be traveling frequently come February. There isn't anyone who can take over for me if I'm out for knee surgery.

Why, oh why can't I have one problem at a time?

*Sigh* At least right now it is merely frustrating, I'll take that over last year any damn day.


  1. "At least right now it is merely frustrating, I'll take that over last year any damn day."

    No kidding! Very well said.

    I'm sorry your knee is messed up along with everything else you are dealing with.

  2. Frustrating indeed! You've got a lot going on with your cycles and that's enough to make you crazy without having to plan treatment for your knee. I would like to wave a fairy wand to at least eliminate a few stressful bits starting with your bits getting on track.

    It sounds like the knee can be sorted, and I am really hoping that you do get relief there pronto. Enjoy the silence and peace while you can. I'll fix you a nice cup of tea whenever you are up for visitors. :)