Tuesday, March 22, 2011


I think I am getting depressed again. It is all this damn waiting. Supposedly we will be assigned a case worker for our home study by the end of the month (not holding my breath), and my very first fertility appointment is at the end of April. It feels like it will never get here. I've been very negative lately about our chances of getting any kid at all. I keep expecting the universe to screw us again, which is why I think I am getting depressed.

I don't know what to do now. My doctor is an ass and I just don't have the energy to find another one. Of the literally dozens of doctors, therapists, and psychologists I have seen in my lifetime, there have been less than 5 good ones. That doesn't bode well for my chances of finding someone who can actually help me.

I have a horrible fucking migraine and I'm spotting again. 10 days without bleeding - that's a new record.

I almost deleted this because I'm sick of the complaining. But, hey - it's my blog. Why else am I writing it except to work through all this crap?


  1. Complain away (not that I think you're complaining, anyway, for what it's worth). We're here for you.

  2. I'm so sorry...the waiting is so painful sometimes, especially when infertility is so all consuming. You absolutely deserve a therapist & doctor that you trust and feel is listening to you, I'm sorry to hear you've had so many negative experiences. Sending hope that better days are ahead for you ((hugs))

  3. Yep. Still here listening. If you don't tell us, then who?