Saturday, June 2, 2012

Too sick for a good update

But I'll give a short one:

Thursday was the first OB appointment. I was a nervous wreck, especially when all she could find at first was the yolk sac. It was another damning black circle. I started crying and told my husband, "there's nothing there". She told us what she was seeing instead of being secretive, thank god, but it was really hard to be in the same room and see the same image as last time. Black circles are bad. BUT - she couldn't see the fetal pole with the wand so she looked over my belly. THERE'S AN ACTUAL LIVE (so far) BABY EMBRYO IN ME. Heartbeat and everything. I'm still having a hard time believing it. It's measuring right on time, which Aiden never did, and I'm sick as a dog already, so things are already looking much better.

The pain is a tiny bit better. I was able to go to work 2 days but not in the field. My OB gave me ty.lenol 3 so I am at least getting some relief, although I think the medicine is making me even more nauseous. I got an appointment with a neurologist but it's not for two months. I find I don't care all that much because it's unlikely I'll risk surgery before the baby is born.

We told the kids so they wouldn't get worried that I was so sick. My big worry was that M would be upset, thinking that we didn't want her anymore since we were finally getting a baby. She said she was happy and seemed excited. I know she really loves babies so I'm hoping that will help. She did get really sad later in the day after texting with her older brother. She misses her siblings so bad and isn't likely to ever get to see her nephew (brother's baby). I've told her we're saving money to take her to California, but it will take almost a year to save enough. That will be almost 4 years since she's seen any of them. I hate that we don't have the money for her to see them sooner.

There's a lot more I wanted to say about how confusing it is to be pregnant right now and how hard this pain is, but the nausea and headaches are horrible today. Thanks so much for all the sympathy in the last couple of posts. They helped get me through a pretty rough week.


  1. Hugs, hugs and more hugs. Gentle ones that don't hurt xxxxxx

  2. so much going on right now. You are on my mind often and I hope you feel better soon as you make these new adjustments. lots of love to you

  3. I've been thinking about you. Glad the first scan went well.