Sunday, May 27, 2012

This is not going so well

I thought I was getting better after I spent over $400 on the ER, the accupuncture, the chiropractor, and two massages, but Friday afternoon the pain became completely unbearable again and by the time I got home all I could do was lay face down on the floor and sob.

I'm not even 6 weeks yet. I can't imagine keeping my job if this doesn't get significantly better. I can't imagine spending the next 9 months laying on my back on the floor. The max I've spent off of the floor in the last 2 days was an hour in my rocking chair but I still had to have the heating pad or ice pack to tolerate it. I have literally never been in so much pain in my life. Even the car accident and labor without anesthetics was not this bad. I remember a few times during especially hard contractions that I had the desperate feeling of wanting to leave my body, but that only lasted a few minutes at a time, not hours, and it was over in 2 days. I've been going on two weeks tomorrow with this. I can only type in short bursts so getting any work done from home is going to be pretty difficult.

I'm pretty sure from the radiating pain and numbness in my arm that I've ruptured a disk in my neck. I can't get the kind of treatment that would allow me to return to work without a significant risk of miscarriage. I'm the major wage earner so losing my job would have some pretty sever consequences. I'm still hoping the chiropractor can get me mobile again but that will take time that we can't really afford. I could use some positive thoughts right now.

8 comments:

  1. Oh no. This sounds absolutely awful. I really, really hope that you can get some treatment that helps and will get you mobile again. I'm just so sorry that you are in so much pain and having so many worries, it must be awful feeling that you have the financial responsibility too.
    Sending positive thoughts and hoping that you find something that helps x

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  2. I had awful pain like that about 6 weeks ago but not being pregnant, the osteopath had a good go at it and it got much better. Fingers crossed this can help you.

    Some painkillers are ok during pregnancy, including morphine - did you push the doc on this?

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  3. thinking of you, so sorry for all of this....

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  4. Oh man, I am so sorry. I know that pain all too well because I also herniated a disc in my neck about 5 years ago. I became a serious fan of hydrocodone and aleve, neither of which you can take while pregnant. And then I ended up having surgery pretty immediately once I saw a doctor who tries to heal these things through physical therapy. He was surprised I could still walk... scary stuff.

    You do really need to see a neurologist. I know you are on a tough place financially but a herniated disc can be extremeley serious. You need an MRI of your neck to know how bad it is.

    After my surgery I did some research on it all and read that herniated discs do resolve on their own usually, but it can take a long time. The pain is horrible. I remember it vividly and honestly knew that if I had to live with it the rest of my life that I couldnt have gone on living. It is excruciating. I really wish I could do something to help you. PLEASE go see a neurologist immediately. I am really worried about you.

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  5. Thanks, ladies. Especially InB - I keep forgetting about neurologists because I've always been referred straight to pain management or physical therapy. You hit it head on - if I knew I would be in this much pain forever, I would not want to live. I'm so scared I'll have to make another horrible decision. I find myself almost hoping that this pregnancy isn't viable just because I can't stand this pain. Then I get all anxious that I'm going to MAKE it go wrong. I always thought I could endure anything for the sake of a healthy baby but this thing has me beaten down. I just can't seem to get this pregnancy thing right.

    I've been waiting for my first appointment with my OB to push the pain meds issue. No one I've seen so far is even willing to do any imaging to find out if it is herniated, let alone prescribe a narcotic. My OB was willing to treat my severe headaches my last pregnancy so I'm hoping she will take this seriously and find something I can do.

    I'm keeping myself up at night googling surgery during pregnancy. It sounds really scary and not just the risk to the baby. It's pretty risky to mom too. I'm praying something will help because I really don't think I can live like this.

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  6. Jen, this sounds so terrible. I wish I had some magic cure to offer you but all I've got is positive vibes to send you way.

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  7. Oh, honey. this is horrible. I hope you find something that works for you. I swear by chiropractors, but they do take a while and you have to go frequently. Hope you feel better.

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