Wednesday, September 11, 2013

3 months?!

I knew it had been awhile since I had posted, but three months? This is a good time to mention that lately I have been feeling like I will look back on this time in my life and just be grateful that its over. That makes me pretty sad because I should be able to enjoy Little Bird's two new teeth and her explorations with food. I should be watching my not so little Sunshine ease into the preteen years with her soccer and girl scouts and *gasp* "boyfriends". Instead I am just trying to get through each day and snag enough sleep to make it through the next, rarely feeling that I accomplished anything. I know I need to make some time for myself to recharge, somehow. I'm trying. In the meantime there is something I've always been told to do and always been too resentful to try. I am a bit of a hypocrite because I accuse my husband of being incredibly negative and yet I've never managed to do this.

I will be grateful.

I will be grateful I have a job, that my house is big enough for all of us, that we are all healthy, that my husband still loves me and wants to be with me, that my girls make little cards for me all the time, that Little Bird knows I'm her mom and doesn't want anyone else when I am around. I will be grateful my savings account is big enough to weather the type of storm we had in 2008, that I can move to where the jobs are and have a really good shot at a permanent career.

Last week my grandfather died and a good friend lost her 44 year old husband. It really does make you appreciate what you  have to see what you can lose. I could see that for awhile after Aiden died, but somehow lost site of it in the last couple of years.

I doubt I'll be on here much in the near future, I think I will be having lots of big changes that will suck up even more time, but I'll try to update when I can. I can't tell you how grateful I have been for the support of my readers. You healed me.

1 comment:

  1. It's good to hear from you, even for a moment. Continuing to think or and pray for you. Sorry not to hear anything about Flower and praying things are improving.