Thursday, November 1, 2012

Some things are better, some things are worse

Baby is still good. The fetal fibronectin came back negative again and last cervix check was good. I am limited to light office work but not on bed rest. The instructions I have are for "irritable contractions" and say to take the meds, lay down and wait 40 minutes. If they get worse I get another trip to L&D but we are mostly sure the baby will not be coming early. Mom will just be really uncomfortable and constantly freaked out. Very restful, no?

The situation with M (lets call her Rose) has gotten worse. Last Friday she got really angry so she broke a mug and cut her foot with the shards. Hubby (aka Baldy) got the shards away from her and told me to call the new therapist, who had wanted to know if she did any more self-injury. The therapist told us that we had to take her to the ER for evaluation. I REALLY did not want to resort to hospitalization. The last time she was hospitalized she lost her adoptive home (the people that kept all of her sisters). I think she went straight from inpatient back into foster care. She sees the hospital as the place where people send their kids when they are too much trouble and the parents don't want them anymore. But the therapist was right, we could not let her hurt herself. Baldy (I know, I'll come up with something better) took her to the hospital and after talking to her the staff admitted her to the behavioral health unit under a Baker act. For those not in my state that is a 72 hour involuntary commitment for psychiatric evaluation. We spent almost all day Saturday with her and was told she could go home Saturday night. The doctor got her confused with someone else and thought he had to get DCF clearance to release her, so she didn't actually get to go home until Sunday afternoon. Since then she has been pretty manic, pretty angry, and very defiant, but she hasn't hurt herself. We have a bunch of appointments to try to get to the bottom of this but I'm seeing a pretty rough road ahead.

Work is the only thing that is actually good news right now, surprisingly. 25 people lost their jobs yesterday in my division. I was not one of them. Not only did I not lose my job, I was given a permanent, benefited position!!!!!!!!!! I have sick leave!!!! And vacation!!!!!!! And healthcare if my husband loses his!!!!!!!! Best of all, I am now eligible to receive sick leave donations!!!!!! I won't be able to accrue enough leave to have any maternity leave, but if I get enough donations I can have 6 weeks paid leave. I won't have to wipe out my savings account. We may even be able to buy a new car.

What a crazy week this has been and it is far from over. I have some more to say about Rose but I'm not going to have time to finish this post so I'll update again when I get a chance.


  1. In reverse order...
    OMFG that is so amazing about your work. And so wrong that it's amazing.
    So sorry that things are so tough with Rose. It sounds so hard for you. Also, I read this and although it's talking about the UK system not the US one I bet there are a lot of similar issues and I want to beat anyone who says 'you can just adopt!!!!!' over the head with a copy printed on bricks.
    And last but not least..... SOOOOOOO glad baby is still OK. It sounds like such a stressful pregnancy :( xxxxx

  2. Woohoo! I've been thinking of you tons and hoping you'd catch a break. It's been a bitch of a time for WAY too long. Thank goodness that something came up with a real job and leave, and, well, and good things!

    Rose. It's tough. She's going to push. It sucks. But you are doing the right thing loving her and helping her. She may take a long time to see it, but this is all she knows and she feels so unworthy of being loved that she's going to do her damndest to prove it to you guys to prove herself right. My prayer is that the idea that you guys love her no matter what is an easier lesson than it has been. Final done, she's family. If only you could insert that in her teenage brain permanently.

    Hang in there. Good thoughts your way. Congrats on the job and the hope of paid leave. It's a sweet thing to have.

  3. I's say "2 out of 3 ain't bad" but poor Rose's situation is so, so tough. I am awesomely excited for your job and the baby. What a weight off your mind that must be. I hope that Rose is soon able to realize that your really love her and want what's best for her. Keep at it, Jen.

  4. i am so incredibly happy to hear about the great news with our job! congratulations! i know that huge weight off your shoulders will really help you get through all the other stuff. I wish I could donate you sick days!