Saturday, April 7, 2012

Is the Honeymoon over?

I'm actually not talking about my marriage here, at least not much. I was warned by many, many people that we would have a "honeymoon period" with M. This is a time when things seem to be going well and behaviors are manageable and the adoptive parents are thinking, "well this isn't so hard, what was all the fuss about?". Then the child eventually realizes that you aren't like all the other temporary parents, that you really will be there forever, and they test that. A lot. I was waiting for this to happen. And waiting, and waiting. I knew it could be a year or more before the honeymoon passed, now I'm wondering if we are getting into the testing phase. It's not so bad so far. Just weird, inexplicable emotional meltdowns to really minor and bizarre things. We have an appointment with our lawyer to get a finalization date on Monday. M knows this and I think is getting really wound up about it. She never made this far before. All the families that said they would keep her didn't. I think it's going to take a long time for her to believe us. This is already stressful; add in the tension in our marriage and my husband's inability to see where her behaviors are coming from, and it's been kind of a wild ride the last couple of weeks.

Hopefully more details later. I'm hoping some day I'll have time to write again. I will post her when we get a date. I can't believe we are finally here!

5 comments:

  1. thinking of you guys, such a hard but wonderful thing you are doing. I am hoping and praying for you...

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  2. It Isnt easy to trust that you won't be kicked to the curb again, and it seems like this is terrifying all around. I am excited for this and I am hoping everything works out and M starts to believe she's part of a real family. Her family.

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  3. Be ready for even more/bigger crazies after finalization! We definately had that and I know it's common. I'll try to track down an article I read about it for you...

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  4. It must be such a difficult, and yet such an exciting and happy, time. Thinking of you and your family x

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  5. It's great to see your update (even if it's a mixed one) and I hope for good things for all of you.

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