I'm tied up in knots. I was okay until I got up this morning. I think I've just been in denial about how much this is going to change everything. I spent yesterday frantically trying to tie up all the loose ends so I was busy calling doctors and clinics and medicaid. I came to realize I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to parent a teenager - especially a traumatized teenager. WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING!!
I can do this. I didn't know how to parent a baby either and K is still alive and not killing puppies. Surely I can figure this out?
I'm excited too, it's just the old, insecure me popping up to inject a little axiety to make things interesting. We also have a slight complication that was not unexpected. M was a little off last weekend. She kept complaining of a stomach ache and was very withdrawn. On Wednesday she got into a dispute with someone at school and hid the girl's phone. She denied it so when she got caught she was suspended. Now instead of a fresh start at a new school she has to go back to her old school on a teacher work day and make up her finals. I had to convince my husband not to be too punitive with her. She created plenty of consequences all by herself. She missed her chance to say goodbye to all of her friends, the bus driver she really likes, and her church youth group. I'm planning on taking her back in a couple of weeks so she can visit those people but it won't be the same. Unfortunately we can't completely ignore the behavior and she missed the reviews for her finals so she'll spend the whole weekend studying instead of playing with her new family. It's not the best start but we knew to expect difficult times until she realizes she can trust us. I think the biggest hurdle is actually going to be my husband. He had not done any research like I have and doesn't know what therapeutic/positive parenting is. I've tried to tell him but I think he needs to see it in practice. I foresee a lot of after-the-kids-are-in-bed arguing. Ugh.
So - update to follow this weekend if I get the time. Wish us a smooth transition!