Friday, September 23, 2011

emotional whiplash

So. I feel a bit sheepish. I am tempted to erase that last post, but what I was feeling this morning is still valid so I think I will leave it up.

Big News:

We were matched with the 13 year old I have been told about.

Right after I posted the last rant, cried a whole lot, wrote a bitter and negative email to my husband and cried some more, I finally checked my private email (a no-no at my job) and realized a message had come in from her social worker at 9:30am, right around when I was working myself up into a good cry.

I'm a little embarrassed, a little giddy, a lot terrified and a whole other stew of emotions I can't yet identify.

This is only the start of a very long road. When I got some more information today there are a couple of things that are pretty concerning in her medical records. We will have a meeting sometime next week to go over all of our questions and meet the parties (except the child) involved.

I'm terrified we will meet her only to break her heart all over again. At the same time I'm so looking forward to taking her shopping, brushing her hair, and asking her to teach me how to catch a damn fish. I'm so excited about the prospect of an older child. And nervous!

If any of my readers have had foster children or adopted older children - PLEASE give me some advice on what to do when we meet her. I want her to feel safe and wanted.

There is a lot more to this story but I am exhausted from the extreme lows and highs today. I won't be able to share specific details about what we find out but I will update what I can in general terms. Wish us all luck and pray if that's your thing.


  1. I'm afraid I don't have any advice but I do have a dear friend who has younger children (twins, aged four) and who fosters older children (usually teenagers) so I will ask her if she has any tips next time I see her.

    I'm so very happy to read this post. It must be absolutely exhausting to go through all these extreme pitches of emotion. I really do wish you all the very, very best of luck xo

  2. wow!!!!! this is amazing news. Very excited for you on this next part of this journey

  3. I don't see an email link you your profile, so just shoot me one!

    Congrats!!! They won't (shouldn't!) tell her about you until you have enouh info to feel comfortable aggreeing to the placement. Read everthing you can get your hands on. Read between the lines. Ask questions. Interview everyone you can (case worker, foster parent, former foster parent, teachers, therapists, etc.) If you and your husband think you can handle her needs and your famiy can be a good fit for her, commit to it and consider her yours right away! I think that's what has played such a big part in our success. Once we said, "yes", we considered her our daughter. It not working was no longer an option in our minds.