Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Good news and something no one will tell you about bankruptcy

Both tubes are open. That is a shock to me. My lap back in 1998 showed one ovary completely fused to the tube with scar tissue. I was SURE that tube was useless. Apparently there is some other reason it is so hard for me to get pregnant (which is kind of depressing, actually). But at least that is one worry off the table. I no longer have to be concerned which side I'm ovulating from. The procedure was not bad. I was glad for the valium because I had really worked myself up. The lortab was probably overkill but judging by the twinge I did feel, I really would have wanted it if the tube was blocked.

As for the bankruptcy. As many of you know I lost my job in 2008. We lost most of our belongings, including our newish car and our house that we had remodeled all by ourselves. We were just getting back on track when Aiden died. The train promptly left the track and crashed horribly in a field somewhere, never to be recovered. No one would work with us on payments while I was out of work. We filed bankruptcy. I knew that things would not be easy in the credit department after that but I was more concerned with keeping a roof over our heads. What I didn't expect was how horribly everyone would treat us. I did not know that insurance companies use your credit history to determine rates. To get affordable renters insurance I had to go to some no name fly by night company and hope they would still be around if we had a claim. I tried to get cheaper auto insurance and discovered that our rates have DOUBLED. Because my son died. How fucking shitty is that? I cried and cried on the phone with the damn insurance company. If we keep our current insurance we may still have to pay more. The company I talked to today said that if they (our current company) check our credit, which they probably do once a year, they will most likely increase our premiums. BECAUSE OUR SON DIED. I am so unbelievably angry about this. No one cares, or will even listen, about the reason we filed bankruptcy. My credit is actually still good - I have 15 years worth of on time payments and my score is currently 700. So I get screwed because because I had the bad taste to have a horrible loss while carrying credit card balances. So thanks, corporate america, for reinforcing just how shitty it is to lose a child and just how little anyone cares (present company excepted, of course).


  1. Ugh, I'm so sorry.

    I have some anxiety issues with finances now since losing Caleb. His overall medical bills totaled over $1.5 mil and I'm still, 2 years later scared out of my gourd that someone is going to come back and want that money from us. I have a hard time checking the mail afraid of what might come in it, and I have a hard time actually sitting down and paying our normal regular bills that we have the money to pay.

    There's so much other collateral damage, and it's not fair.

  2. Yes, that is totally shitty. I hate how the corporatization means that it all becomes less human.