Tuesday, July 20, 2010

the end of the virus from hell

I am finally mostly better. Still pretty stuffy but given how I felt last week, I'm happy about that. I'm very thankful my eyes weren't permanently damaged. They still get tired easily but I am able to read now.

I have a lot of writing and thinking to do about where I go from here so look for a long post when I can squeeze out some time for myself. Overall I am pretty sad this week. Everything is a reminder of what is missing and it's hard to give up on what I thought should happen now.

Being so very sick during a fairly momentous time in my life made everything seem a little unreal. I keep having to remind myself that the last cycle failed, that I'm not pregnant, that I have to be moving on now. The high fever I had for days caused some really bizarre dreams and it is still hard to remember what was real and what wasn't. Looking back I can't believe I was that sick and not in the hospital.

I wish I could be more coherent, I am still very sleep deprived and have no energy.

Thanks everyone for the support the last two weeks. When I was able to see I kept clicking back through the comments, they helped pull me through.


  1. Glad to hear you're feeling better. Give yourself some time to regain emotional and physical strength . . .

    Hang in there--thinking of you :)

  2. I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. I have been thinking about you a lot and wondering how all of this has been for you. I am sure it hasn't even hit you yet as you have been so sick. We are here for you. I imagine that closing the door on bio children must be so much more difficult after Aiden's loss. I am so sorry.

  3. Good to hear you are more close to normal healthwise. I look forward to hearing where your thoughts are now. Know we are all here for you.

  4. I'm so glad to hear that you are starting to recover from your illness. We'll be here when you are able to write about your thoughts regarding your next steps.


  5. I am glad you are finally in recovery- what an awful virus! But I am sorry that you are so sad right now. I'm looking forward to your continuing thoughts about your choices as you move forward in building your family....

  6. Man. What a shit thing to have happen. It's really like an insult to injury to have been ill as well. I am hoping that things are starting to settle and that your physical and emotional health are headed toward better days.