Tuesday, July 20, 2010

the end of the virus from hell

I am finally mostly better. Still pretty stuffy but given how I felt last week, I'm happy about that. I'm very thankful my eyes weren't permanently damaged. They still get tired easily but I am able to read now.

I have a lot of writing and thinking to do about where I go from here so look for a long post when I can squeeze out some time for myself. Overall I am pretty sad this week. Everything is a reminder of what is missing and it's hard to give up on what I thought should happen now.

Being so very sick during a fairly momentous time in my life made everything seem a little unreal. I keep having to remind myself that the last cycle failed, that I'm not pregnant, that I have to be moving on now. The high fever I had for days caused some really bizarre dreams and it is still hard to remember what was real and what wasn't. Looking back I can't believe I was that sick and not in the hospital.

I wish I could be more coherent, I am still very sleep deprived and have no energy.

Thanks everyone for the support the last two weeks. When I was able to see I kept clicking back through the comments, they helped pull me through.

6 comments:

  1. Glad to hear you're feeling better. Give yourself some time to regain emotional and physical strength . . .

    Hang in there--thinking of you :)

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  2. I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. I have been thinking about you a lot and wondering how all of this has been for you. I am sure it hasn't even hit you yet as you have been so sick. We are here for you. I imagine that closing the door on bio children must be so much more difficult after Aiden's loss. I am so sorry.

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  3. Good to hear you are more close to normal healthwise. I look forward to hearing where your thoughts are now. Know we are all here for you.

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  4. I'm so glad to hear that you are starting to recover from your illness. We'll be here when you are able to write about your thoughts regarding your next steps.

    (((hugs)))

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  5. I am glad you are finally in recovery- what an awful virus! But I am sorry that you are so sad right now. I'm looking forward to your continuing thoughts about your choices as you move forward in building your family....

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  6. Man. What a shit thing to have happen. It's really like an insult to injury to have been ill as well. I am hoping that things are starting to settle and that your physical and emotional health are headed toward better days.

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