I am finally mostly better. Still pretty stuffy but given how I felt last week, I'm happy about that. I'm very thankful my eyes weren't permanently damaged. They still get tired easily but I am able to read now.
I have a lot of writing and thinking to do about where I go from here so look for a long post when I can squeeze out some time for myself. Overall I am pretty sad this week. Everything is a reminder of what is missing and it's hard to give up on what I thought should happen now.
Being so very sick during a fairly momentous time in my life made everything seem a little unreal. I keep having to remind myself that the last cycle failed, that I'm not pregnant, that I have to be moving on now. The high fever I had for days caused some really bizarre dreams and it is still hard to remember what was real and what wasn't. Looking back I can't believe I was that sick and not in the hospital.
I wish I could be more coherent, I am still very sleep deprived and have no energy.
Thanks everyone for the support the last two weeks. When I was able to see I kept clicking back through the comments, they helped pull me through.