Friday, June 4, 2010

If I am not pregnant . . .

. . . what the hell is my body trying to do to me?



- migraines (first time in two months, have them constantly when pregnant)

- weird twitches in the uterus that I SWEAR feel like kicks. I know they aren't but they are really messing with my head. They put me right back to the last days with Aiden, knowing he wasn't really kicking.

- Nausea and a distaste for coffee - the coffee I've been drinking religiously for 3 years now. (I know caffeine is a no-no, my MFM said it's fine at 1 cup a day)

- Fatigue. I went to bed a 9:30 last night and I'm still tired

- Wild mood swings and LOTS of weepiness

- Huge, massive, painful zits all over the place

- Stabbing pain in boobs

All of this except the uterus twitching and the coffee aversion I can attribute to stress, the time of the month, changing anti-depressants, whatever. But those two symptoms are odd, especially the coffee. They have left the back door open for that sneaky bitch, hope, to slither in.

I'm trying SO DAMN HARD to not get my hopes up. Especially as I now know that pregnant does NOT equal baby. I don't think it's working. And useless peeing* on sticks is only making me more crazy.


*Incidentally - did you know that fresh urine will attract carpenter ants? No? Well neither did I. It wasn't mine, by the way. My daughter has a small potty in her room and this morning it had ant soup in it. Gross.


  1. oh lady, i hear ya! I am 3DPO and my hopes are on a roller coaster right now. My recommendation is try and wait till at least 12DPO to POAS!!!

  2. Too late - I've already peed on everything in the house that looks like a stick.

    But that was because I thought I was 10 dpo two days ago but I was wrong!! That error made this an especially looong 2ww.

  3. Hand in there!!! I soooo wish for that 2ww sedative. Who cares about vacation? I just want to fall into a deep sleep and wake up when my baby gets here. IF I ever get a baby, that is. I guess it could be a pretty long nap...

    Your symptoms sound AWFULLY promising!! and 9dpo is nearly certainly too early to see anything on a stick.

  4. Fingers and toes are crossed for you!!!!! I hate HPT, I never use them. Not even when I actually was pregnant. Hoping that the rest of the 2ww goes quickly. I would say that I hope you feel better soon, but assuming that these are pregnancy symptoms I actually hope they continue :)
    Thank you so much for all of your support recently. Your comments expecially mean so much to me as I know you have been in my very shoes.

  5. I am so glad we found each other! But biology is a great science, it's just the bs that goes with it that sucks sometimes...

    I'm so sorry about losing your baby. I can't imagine the pain you've been through.

    But I look forward to following you now and am really, really hoping your symptoms are the real thing!!!

  6. Hi!
    I found your blog through Aleina's Letters to Layla. I too lost a baby under similar circumstances in Sept 2008. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm glad to find your blog and that I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  7. Hi, Hope. Thanks for commenting, I'm so sorry you lost your little girl. There is just nothing worse.