Yesterday, just after I posted about my cycle and the oil spill, one of my co-workers made a colossal ass of himself and ruined my day. Some of you may remember a problem I had with a different co-worker, who I like to call the crazy one. The co-worker yesterday is over sixty and a dirty old man. He likes the girls (as he calls all attractive women) and has no concept of appropriate behaviors or physical boundries at work. I try to stay away from him because he is always trying to touch me (grabbing my arm - not sexual). Yesterday I was in the lab feeding the fish I had collected for a kid's day program. He always joked that I am the mommy fish and I am taking care of my babies. I never associated that joke with my loss so it didn't bother me. Yesterday, however, he made the joke again and I laughed and said I needed a dog (as something to care for that I could pet). He said, "You just need a baby."
What!! Um, hello, dumb ass, I tried that, it didn't go so well. He knows about my loss and has never said anything to me about it. But I couldn't believe he said that. I almost burst into to tears right then and there. The smart thing would have been to glare at him and leave, but no, I had to stand there and let him rip my heart out all over again. I ignored the first comment and he said something else I didn't hear. I thought it was something less idiotic so I said, "What?"
He said, and I quote, "aw, a puppy is better than a baby anyway, you don't want to be kept up all night."
Cue enraged screaming (in my head) YES, ACTUALLY, I DO WANT TO BE KEPT UP ALL NIGHT. WHY DO YOU THINK I WAS FUCKING PREGNANT? IT WASN'T JUST SO I COULD HOLD A DEAD BABY, I ASSURE YOU!
What the hell is wrong with people? I can see not knowing what to say. I can see being afraid of death or hysterical women or dead baby cooties. But to suggest to a mother who has lost a baby at all, let alone recently, that a puppy would be better? I just don't have the words. Some people are just not human beings. I seriously need some valium or I may start killing people.