Friday, May 28, 2010

To my future (hopefully) offspring:

This time I will eat raw spinach every day and religiously take my prenatals.

This time I will buy a stuffed animal right away. Your little brother shouldn’t have been cremated all by himself.

This time I will make a blanket to wrap you in and a hat that will fit a 20 week old fetus, just in case.

This time I will do all the testing, I need to know sooner if you are sick.

This time I will try not to think of tomorrow.

This time I will sing to you and talk to you, no matter how silly I feel.

This time I will never complain if you use my bladder for a trampoline.

This time I will not tell anyone that didn’t support me when things went wrong.

This time I will be more protective of myself and ask for what I need.

This time I will be terrified every moment, I hope you can handle the stress hormones.

This time I won’t be able to hope that you will be okay, I’m sorry.

7 comments:

  1. Bargaining with the universe. I do it too. I hope the universe listens to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Jen. So much of this post sounds familiar. x

    ReplyDelete
  3. i want so badly to buy something for a baby right now. but i'm too terrified that there will never be a baby.

    i never stroked my belly or anything while i was pregnant. i didn't want it to become some kind of affectation (is that a real word?). i wanted to wait until it was something i did without realising.

    i will do that next time, even long before i have a bump.

    if, of course, there is a next time.

    i guess i'm trying to say that i understand.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah. me too. I've even promised bikes, science fair prizes, etc. Let's hope they make it here healthy and well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. sigh.....I wish I could give you a big hug. here is my wish for you, this time things will be different and your will give birth to normal, healthy baby (even if you are a stressed out mess during your pregnancy). We are here to hold your hand through it, you are not alone. Crossing my fingers and toes for this cycle for you and for everything that comes after that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh yes, yes this is so (too) familiar...

    ReplyDelete
  7. That last one made me cry. I'm terrified this baby won't make it and then I'll feel guilty about not being able to celebrate this pregnancy. And I feel like I need to buy an outfit in case something goes wrong.

    Hugs.

    Maddie x

    ReplyDelete