Thursday, April 1, 2010


My appointment with the MFM specialist went well. He talked to us for an hour about the risks of trying again and how he would treat a future pregnancy. I was very relieved when we left and feeling much more hopeful. I spent most of the day in absolute terror because this is the doctor that injected Aiden's heart so the stupid uptight hospital would let me deliver instead of going 6 hours away to an abortion clinic. I was deathly afraid of going to that office again. It was the last place I "saw" Aiden alive.

It wasn't bad. Turns out a little compassion and respect can go a long way toward making a scared and grieving mom comfortable. What an amazing doctor.

However, as I was putting my daughter to bed tonight, I threw my back out. And by out, I mean not able to stand up, roll over, lift my left leg, lift my head, or sit up straight without screaming. I scared the crap out of my daughter and took WAY too many pills. I still can barely move. Looks like I will be spending tomorrow in the ER instead of talking to my boss about the evil bitch next door. FANTASTIC.

If it didn't hurt so damned bad I would be laughing about this. I did want an excuse to not go back to work tomorrow. Really, Universe, something a little less painful would have been sufficient.

Anyway, more details about trying again when I'm not stoned on pain pills. Wish me luck that this is just a bad spasm and not my compressed disc finally rupturing. That would be REALLY BAD.


  1. I am so glad that the appt went well, although very sad about your back. Feel better soon....You give me so much strength and hope.

  2. I'm sorry about your back, hoping it is just s spasm.
    I'm so glad to hear about the MFM appointment, it sounds like it went really well and I hope it makes you feel a teeny tiny bit better.

  3. I hope your back gets better quickly-- sounds rough. And I am glad that your consultation went well.
    I'm also glad that you and cgd found each other! If sharing your experience helps others, that is at least one good thing you can extract from it..

  4. I'm so glad the appointment went well. and so sorry about your back. hope it's better now xx