I just wanted to post a thank you. I'm feeling better today, mostly as a result of all the kind, supportive comments I get here.
I don't like this broken person I have become. I hope it is just a process on the way to something better. I know I will never be the same; I'm just hoping for a little happier, somewhere down the road.
I wanted to tell the people that stop by here that this space is for my darkest thoughts and my most desperate moments. When I read my posts it sounds like someone about to jump off a bridge. I'm not that bad, honest. I do really appreciate people stopping by and reading, especially commenting. It makes me feel so much less alone.
I imagine this would be easier with support from someone other than my husband. Even just someone to take my daughter for the day. Sadly, the only family we have here has let us down pretty badly (see here) and we have no close friends nearby. This makes me especially grateful for the ALI community.
So, thank you, internets. You are making this journey a little easier.
P.S. I do try to respond to comments but I have limited internet time. If you don't here from me, I am reading your comments and they are helping tremendously.