Thursday, February 25, 2010

Poor little munchkin

I feel so bad for my daughter today. She woke up cranky and saw a baby bunting that I had pulled out of storage for my neighbor. She grabbed it and said it was hers. When I told her it was for baby Mark she said, in a very upset voice, "NO! It's for baby Aiden. I want to put it on him and he'll be my best friend."

That sound you hear is my heart splintering into ever smaller pieces. It's age appropriate, but she just doesn't understand that death is forever. She still thinks that some day Aiden will come back and she will get to be a big sister. Every time she talks about getting him back my breath stops and my ribcage splits open, black grief pouring out. I tell her that he can't come back and that I wish we could have him back too. I know she will keep asking until she is old enough to really understand, but Oh God, how I wish I could tell her he was coming back.

How do you make this better?

1 comment:

  1. Oh I don't know. I just don't know. I do wonder what they make of it all, what they will make of it in the future.

    Even part of my grown up thirty year old brain that should really know better still thinks she's coming back.