Number of times I've gotten that comment since my return to work yesterday: about 12
Number of times someone has said I'm sorry for your loss: 2
I'm starting to wish I had gone with my original impulse and pulled out or chopped off my hair in a spasm of grief. I did seriously consider it. I had a moment last week where I was standing in the bathroom after a shower, my belly still looking 5 months pregnant, my nipples leaking milk, and my puffy, swollen, red eyes starting at the stranger in the mirror, when I picked up the scissors and thought that it would be therapuetic to hack my (very long) hair off. Better sense prevailed (I was worried my hovering mother would have me locked in the psych ward for a few days) and I went to a salon the day before I returned to work.
It is a drastic change. I decided months ago that I didn't want long hair anymore and the constant headaches of pregnancy had decided me for sure. I just didn't want to spend the money on myself and I was scared of the risk of a bad haircut. Things being the way they are now (dead baby), those concerns didn't seem to matter so much. When I came back to work I kind of expected people to not know what to say and maybe avoid me. What I didn't expect was EVERYONE to compliment my hair. Seriously people, do you honestly think I give a rat's ass what I look like right now?! Apparently, if you get a flattering haircut after the death of your baby it gives people an excuse to avoid awkward greetings. Who knew?